A child was missing in my neighborhood
His family posted a message on Facebook and whatsapp with his picture. It has been found !!!
That's a big thank you to Facebook and WhatsApp.
Now, it's been over three months, he is not able to go to school.
Why?
Because every time people see him, they take it him home because the message is still circulating on WhatsApp and Facebook
Jokes to tell are a great way to break the ice and bring some laughter into any situation. From funny and good jokes to clean and short jokes, there's something for everyone. Whether you prefer corny and punny jokes or knock-knock and dad jokes, these one-liner jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. So, get ready to search for the best jokes to tell and add some humor to your day! So, what are you waiting for? Start searching for the perfect joke today!
Showing posts with label TECHNOLOGY JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TECHNOLOGY JOKES. Show all posts
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
Gates vs. GM
>For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
>At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
>In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
>If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.! ....... Twice a day.
>2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
>3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
>4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
>5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
>6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
>7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off
>For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
>At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
>In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
>If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.! ....... Twice a day.
>2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
>3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
>4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
>5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
>6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
>7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off
Super Funny Jokes ; Subject: TECHNOLOGY!
Subject: TECHNOLOGY!
> >
> > Three men one American, one Japanese and an Irishman were sitting
> > > naked in
> > > >> > the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American
> >pressed
> > > his
> > > >> > forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him
> >questioningly.
> > > >> > "That was my pager," he
> > > >> > said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
> > > >> >
> > > >> > A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted
his
> >palm
> > > to
> > > >> > his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile
> >phone. I
> > > have
> > > >> > a microchip in my hand."
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he
> >decided he
> > > had
> > > >> > to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna
> >and
> > > went
> > > >> > to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from
> >his
> > > ass.
> > > >> > The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
> >"I'm
> > > >> > getting a fax," he explains
> >
> > Three men one American, one Japanese and an Irishman were sitting
> > > naked in
> > > >> > the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American
> >pressed
> > > his
> > > >> > forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him
> >questioningly.
> > > >> > "That was my pager," he
> > > >> > said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
> > > >> >
> > > >> > A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted
his
> >palm
> > > to
> > > >> > his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile
> >phone. I
> > > have
> > > >> > a microchip in my hand."
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he
> >decided he
> > > had
> > > >> > to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna
> >and
> > > went
> > > >> > to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from
> >his
> > > ass.
> > > >> > The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
> >"I'm
> > > >> > getting a fax," he explains
A traveling salesman's car breaks down
A traveling salesman's car breaks down, and he walks over to
a near by farm. He knocks on the door and the farmer appears. 'Excuse me sir, but
my car broke down about a mile down the road, and I was wondering if you had a
place I could stay, just until morning, and I.....' The farmer says, 'Well, I
can let you sleep in the barn, but you'll have to sleep with my two sons....' The
salesman says, 'Sons! I must be in the wrong joke!'
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