funny jokes for kids kids telling jokes kid jokes funny kid jokes best kids jokes children jokes kids joke how to tell jokes easy jokes
Jokes to tell are a great way to break the ice and bring some laughter into any situation. From funny and good jokes to clean and short jokes, there's something for everyone. Whether you prefer corny and punny jokes or knock-knock and dad jokes, these one-liner jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. So, get ready to search for the best jokes to tell and add some humor to your day! So, what are you waiting for? Start searching for the perfect joke today!
Showing posts with label JEWISH JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JEWISH JOKES. Show all posts
funny jokes for kids kids telling jokes kid jokes funny kid jokes best kids jokes children jokes
funny jokes for kids kids telling jokes kid jokes funny kid jokes best kids jokes children jokes kids joke how to tell jokes easy jokes
"Tell mother I'm Jewish or Arab?"
A kid goes to see his mother and asks him:
"Tell mother I'm Jewish or Arab?"
"your father is Jewish and I Arab so you are the 2 my son why this question?"
"It's because there is a moped down the street and I hesitate between stealing it and selling it"
"Tell mother I'm Jewish or Arab?"
"your father is Jewish and I Arab so you are the 2 my son why this question?"
"It's because there is a moped down the street and I hesitate between stealing it and selling it"
The best jokes about Jews, Jewish jokes certified kosher! Maybe you already know it but Jewish humor
The best jokes about Jews, Jewish jokes certified kosher! Maybe you already know it but Jewish humor is Pandora's box of humor. An endless box full of pearls. Here is a people who knows how to laugh at everything and who claims it proudly! A top 20 well Jewish and above all, very funny!
1. What is the difference between a Jewish seller and an Arab seller?
Arabic sells retail, when to the Jew, he sells wholesale!
2. Why do Jews often have a big nose?
Because the air is free.
3. Three Jewish mothers talk about their respective sons.
The first says, "I, my son, is so rich that he could buy Paris!"
The second one outbid: "Me my son, he has so much money that he could offer himself Paris and New York!"
The third concludes: "And what makes you believe that MY SON wants to sell ?!
4. Why did the Jews ask money from the Swiss?
To be able to pay the gas bill!
5. How do you say 500 euros in Hebrew?
We say "DONATE"!
6. A good Christian will confess:
-My father, I have sinned, forgive me. I hid a Jew in my cellar during the Second World War.
"It's not a sin," replied the priest.
-Yes but I ask him 100 francs for each month.
-Ah yes, it's not really ok but you still did a good deed.
-Yes but I still do not tell him that the war was over ...
1. What is the difference between a Jewish seller and an Arab seller?
Arabic sells retail, when to the Jew, he sells wholesale!
2. Why do Jews often have a big nose?
Because the air is free.
3. Three Jewish mothers talk about their respective sons.
The first says, "I, my son, is so rich that he could buy Paris!"
The second one outbid: "Me my son, he has so much money that he could offer himself Paris and New York!"
The third concludes: "And what makes you believe that MY SON wants to sell ?!
4. Why did the Jews ask money from the Swiss?
To be able to pay the gas bill!
5. How do you say 500 euros in Hebrew?
We say "DONATE"!
6. A good Christian will confess:
-My father, I have sinned, forgive me. I hid a Jew in my cellar during the Second World War.
"It's not a sin," replied the priest.
-Yes but I ask him 100 francs for each month.
-Ah yes, it's not really ok but you still did a good deed.
-Yes but I still do not tell him that the war was over ...
A very rich man falls ill
A very rich man falls ill
A very rich man gets sick. He makes an announcement to get blood to heal. A Jew, seeing the announcement, gives a good heart to his blood. The billionaire offers him a Ferrari, a palace, and other very expensive things.
But unfortunately one day, he falls ill again. He makes an announcement again, and the Jew returns without hesitation to give him his blood.
The billionaire, healed, sends him a letter saying: "Thank you very much for your gift."
The astonished Jew answers by email: "That's all?"
And there the billionaire answers him: "You forgot my friend, I have Jewish blood now!"
A very rich man gets sick. He makes an announcement to get blood to heal. A Jew, seeing the announcement, gives a good heart to his blood. The billionaire offers him a Ferrari, a palace, and other very expensive things.
But unfortunately one day, he falls ill again. He makes an announcement again, and the Jew returns without hesitation to give him his blood.
The billionaire, healed, sends him a letter saying: "Thank you very much for your gift."
The astonished Jew answers by email: "That's all?"
And there the billionaire answers him: "You forgot my friend, I have Jewish blood now!"
Moshe wants to park his porsche
Moshe wants to park his porsche
Moshe has a rendez-vous in the city center, he is in the flurry and can not find a place to park his Porsche.
He gets angry because he has been running in vain for 30 minutes. So he speaks to God:
- My God, if you find me a place within 5 minutes, the truth if I lie, I will Shabbat, I will eat kosher every day, I will not deceive my wife Sarah, nor Rebecca my mistress, I will respect Yom Kippur and all other holidays, IT'S PROMIS !!!
And then, miracle, a place is free right in front of him!
Moshe, parks, opens the window leans at the door of his Porsche, looks at the sky and shouts:
- My God, do not look anymore, it's not worth it, I found a parking space!
Moshe has a rendez-vous in the city center, he is in the flurry and can not find a place to park his Porsche.
He gets angry because he has been running in vain for 30 minutes. So he speaks to God:
- My God, if you find me a place within 5 minutes, the truth if I lie, I will Shabbat, I will eat kosher every day, I will not deceive my wife Sarah, nor Rebecca my mistress, I will respect Yom Kippur and all other holidays, IT'S PROMIS !!!
And then, miracle, a place is free right in front of him!
Moshe, parks, opens the window leans at the door of his Porsche, looks at the sky and shouts:
- My God, do not look anymore, it's not worth it, I found a parking space!
Moshe seeks a job
Moshe seeks a job
In Israel, Moshe goes to see the chief rabbi, and asks him ...
- Hey ! Grand rabbi! I've been looking for work for six months now ... Can you find that for me ... right?
The Rabbi answers:
- Hello Moshe, I have this job for you: You make the watch in front of the entrance of our great city, and as soon as Jesus returns, you come to announce it to everyone!
- Mmmmmmmhhhh ... ..Dies it pay well at least ???
- NO ! But you have job security !!!
In Israel, Moshe goes to see the chief rabbi, and asks him ...
- Hey ! Grand rabbi! I've been looking for work for six months now ... Can you find that for me ... right?
The Rabbi answers:
- Hello Moshe, I have this job for you: You make the watch in front of the entrance of our great city, and as soon as Jesus returns, you come to announce it to everyone!
- Mmmmmmmhhhh ... ..Dies it pay well at least ???
- NO ! But you have job security !!!
Jacob meets Levi in the street
Jacob meets Levi in the street
Jacob meets Levi in the street.
- So, Levi, it seems that you just got married?
Yes, Mr. Jacob. Besides, you see, I packed my bags to go on a honeymoon.
- Good ! Where are you going?
- In Jerusalem, Mr. Jacob.
- Very good ! but where is your wife?
- At the store, Mr. Jacob. That way, we can stay open during my absence.
Jacob meets Levi in the street.
- So, Levi, it seems that you just got married?
Yes, Mr. Jacob. Besides, you see, I packed my bags to go on a honeymoon.
- Good ! Where are you going?
- In Jerusalem, Mr. Jacob.
- Very good ! but where is your wife?
- At the store, Mr. Jacob. That way, we can stay open during my absence.
Six Israeli mountaineers caught in a storm
Six Israeli mountaineers caught in a storm
Six Israeli mountaineers are stuck in a snowstorm in the Alps. They decide to spend the night at the shelter. Research is undertaken. The next day, a rescuer of the Red Cross comes knocking on the door of the shelter. A mountaineer says:
- Who is here ?
- It's the Red Cross!
- No thanks, we already gave!
Six Israeli mountaineers are stuck in a snowstorm in the Alps. They decide to spend the night at the shelter. Research is undertaken. The next day, a rescuer of the Red Cross comes knocking on the door of the shelter. A mountaineer says:
- Who is here ?
- It's the Red Cross!
- No thanks, we already gave!
Jews are often subject to jokes with cliches and stereotypes. These are not intended to
Jews are often subject to jokes with cliches and stereotypes. These are not intended to stigmatize or mock, but rather to share in a good mood around a widespread culture.
Some jokes about Jews
The funny stories in this section highlight the so-called avarice of the Jews, their taste for trade and negotiation ... These are often appreciated because they can easily be adapted to other cultures or people ... So you can replace the Jews by the name of a friend "stingy" or your mother-in-law to tease! It's up to you to sort out jokes that will please you or not.
This category is full of little masterpieces that will make you laugh at any time of the day and you will surely want to tell your friends afterwards. Explore it, and share your favorite jokes, that's what you have to do.
Two Jews are at the edge of the sea. Lying on the beach, they are laid out, to be basked by the sun:
- Samuel?
- Yes, David?
- The sea goes up.
- So buy!
Some jokes about Jews
The funny stories in this section highlight the so-called avarice of the Jews, their taste for trade and negotiation ... These are often appreciated because they can easily be adapted to other cultures or people ... So you can replace the Jews by the name of a friend "stingy" or your mother-in-law to tease! It's up to you to sort out jokes that will please you or not.
This category is full of little masterpieces that will make you laugh at any time of the day and you will surely want to tell your friends afterwards. Explore it, and share your favorite jokes, that's what you have to do.
Two Jews are at the edge of the sea. Lying on the beach, they are laid out, to be basked by the sun:
- Samuel?
- Yes, David?
- The sea goes up.
- So buy!
It is the young David who will find his boss and who says to him:
It is the young David who will find his boss and who says to him:
- I can not work at your place anymore. All your employees are anti-Semitic!
- What? What are you telling it ?! Whether there is one or two, I do not mind, but not all!
- If I tell you that they are all anti-Semites! Besides, I did a test ...
I asked them the same question, and they all made the same answer! They are all anti-Semites, I tell you!
- But what's this question?
- I asked them what they would think if we exterminated all the Jews and all the hairdressers ...
- The hairdressers!?! Why hairdressers?
- Well, you see, you too!
- I can not work at your place anymore. All your employees are anti-Semitic!
- What? What are you telling it ?! Whether there is one or two, I do not mind, but not all!
- If I tell you that they are all anti-Semites! Besides, I did a test ...
I asked them the same question, and they all made the same answer! They are all anti-Semites, I tell you!
- But what's this question?
- I asked them what they would think if we exterminated all the Jews and all the hairdressers ...
- The hairdressers!?! Why hairdressers?
- Well, you see, you too!
Three Jewish mothers discuss their respective children.
Three Jewish mothers discuss their respective children.
The first says:
- Me, my son, he is so rich that he could buy all Paris!
The second, a little annoyed answers him:
- Me my son, he is so rich that he could afford Paris and New York!
So the third one ends:
- And what makes you think that my son wants to sell?
The first says:
- Me, my son, he is so rich that he could buy all Paris!
The second, a little annoyed answers him:
- Me my son, he is so rich that he could afford Paris and New York!
So the third one ends:
- And what makes you think that my son wants to sell?
A young Jewish woman takes a taxi. On a country road, the taxi
A young Jewish woman takes a taxi. On a country road, the taxi has an accident and turns around. The help arrive very quickly.
The firefighters are soon on the scene of the accident and hear the cries of the old woman.
- Ahhhaaah !!
- Do not worry ma'am, we're here!
- Ahhhaaah !!
"Do not worry, ma'am, we're going to release you soon.
- Ahhhaaah!
- It will be fine !
- Ahhhaaah Ahhhaaah stop the counter !!!!!!
The firefighters are soon on the scene of the accident and hear the cries of the old woman.
- Ahhhaaah !!
- Do not worry ma'am, we're here!
- Ahhhaaah !!
"Do not worry, ma'am, we're going to release you soon.
- Ahhhaaah!
- It will be fine !
- Ahhhaaah Ahhhaaah stop the counter !!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)