It is the story of a princess of beauty that no one can match.

It is the story of a princess of beauty that no one can match.
She was poisoned by an apple like Snow White.
Lying on the bed, the prince approaches to kiss him on his tender lips and says:
- But puree, she stinks from the mouth and what's more she whip!

A man walks on the beach, he finds a magic lamp, he rubs and a genie comes out.

A man walks on the beach, he finds a magic lamp, he rubs and a genie comes out.
The genie says to him:
- "You can make three wishes!"
The man answers:
- "Ok, then, I would like to have a full stomach, a hot ass and a woman who holds my cock!"
And there he turned into a saucepan ...

A guy meets one of his friends who drags a huge suitcase.

A guy meets one of his friends who drags a huge suitcase.
- What are you carrying?
- A big moth!
- Show me !
The guy opens the suitcase and actually, inside, a huge insect is locked up.
- Where are you from?
- I found a genius who spun it to me.
- Present it to me.
He takes the boyfriend home, rubs a copper lamp and takes out a genius:
- Say a wish, I will realize it.
- I want a billion!
The genius layers fingers and enters the lamp, appears a billiard!
- He's stupid, I asked for a BILLION!
- And me, you think that I had asked for a BIG MOTH?

Two newfies are in a boat wrecked in the open sea. After several days of wandering..

Two newfies are in a boat wrecked in the open sea. After several days of wandering on their inflatable boat, and while they have nothing to eat for 5 days and nothing to drink for 2 days, he see an oil lamp float on the water. One of the newfies seizes it, and just by rubbing the lamp, a genie comes out, as dry! Genius is an old genius who tells them:
- Listen guys, you let me out of this lamp to the con, alright, but I'm a little tired of giving three wishes each time because I'm lazy and tired. So you will think carefully and make a wish that I will answer. Then I break! The first newfie, without thinking a single second vociferous: - I want to have enough beer to drink for the rest of our lives! And immediately, the genius turns the sea into an ocean of 1664! Then the second newfie turns to the first and tells him sticking a good slap behind his head:
- Bravo Einstein, now we'll have to pee in the boat!

A man enters a bar with an ostrich behind him.

A man enters a bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the boss arrives and takes control of him. The man says:
- I'll have a beer.
He then turns to the ostrich and asks him:
"I'll have a beer too," replies the ostrich.
The boss brings both beers and says:
- It will be 5 euros, please.
The guy plunges his hand into his pocket and takes out the exact sum. The next day, the man and the ostrich come back and the man asks for a beer and the ostrich asks for the same thing. Once again, the man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out the exact sum requested. It becomes a routine, every night both come back to the bar.
"As usual?" Asks the boss.
- To change, I'll take a double scotch, said the man.
"For me too," said the ostrich.
- It will be 10 euros, says the boss.
Once again, the man plunges his hand into his pocket and pulls out the exact sum he places on the counter. The boss can no longer hold his curiosity.
- Excuse me sir. How do you get out of your pocket the exact sum every time?
- Well, years ago, I was cleaning my attic when I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was to always be able to pay for what I was asked just by putting my hand in my pocket and taking out the exact sum.
- Well done, says the boss. Most people would have asked for a million euros or something but you will be as rich as you want as long as you live.
- Exact ! Whether for a liter of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact sum is there
- The boss then asks:
"One more thing, sir, and the ostrich?
The man answers:
- My second wish was ......... a hen with long legs.

It's a story that happens in a US military fort, in the days of cowboys and Indians.

It's a story that happens in a US military fort, in the days of cowboys and Indians.
One day, while they are urinating in the toilet of the fort, the captain of the camp can not help but see the corporal's BIT OF THE corporal that we used to call 'ptite bite' .
The captain says to him:
- Say so little dick, what happened. We always called you ptite cock, but I see that we will have to give you another nickname: your cock is well 30 cm long, it's amazing.
- I'll explain why my captain. Two days ago, I was doing my surveillance patrol a few miles from here, to the north. when, as I passed under an incredibly tall oak, I saw a genie sitting on one of the branches of the tree.
Then the genie says to me: 'I am a genius. I can grant you one of your wishes if you wish. I'm listening to you!'. So I asked him for a sex like my horse.
Since the time that I was nicknamed ptite cock, I was waiting for that ... Here is the story.
The same day, the captain takes his horse, and goes to the north.
Arrived near the big oak tree, he finds indeed the genius ... and the military being what they are, he finds no other wish to formulate than that of his corporal:
- Genius, since it seems that you can make a wish, I would like to have a sex the size of my horse's!
An hour later, the captain returns to the fort screaming:
- WHAT IS THE ABRUTI WHO HAS FILLED ME A MARGIN?

A couple plays golf in a very expensive golf course, surrounded by very beautiful and expensive houses

A couple plays golf in a very expensive golf course, surrounded by very beautiful and expensive houses. In hole 3, the husband said to his wife:
- Honey, be careful because if your ball is going to break a window, it's going to cost us a fortune.
The wife makes her drive and of course the ball will directly break the largest window of the most luxurious house. The husband is furious, yells his wife, and they knock on the door of the house. A voice answers:
- Come in.
The husband opens the door and sees broken glass spilled everywhere and a broken bottle in a corner. A man very elegantly dressed, sitting in an armchair, said to them:
- Did you break the window?
- Yes, but we regret it very much.
- Well, in fact, you have done me a great service. I am a genius and I have been locked in this bottle for over 1000 years. Also as a sign of gratitude, I will fulfill 3 wishes, but as you are 2, I will fulfill a wish for each one of you and I will keep the third for myself. Come on, what do you want? He asks the husband.
- I would like to receive a million dollars a month.
- Consider that it is done, from tomorrow you will begin to receive them. And you ? he asks the wife.
- I would like to have a home in every country in the world.
- That's the least I can do for you. From tomorrow you will receive the property titles of the houses.
- And you, what do you want? the husband asks the Genie.
- Here, I was locked in this bottle for 1000 years, and during all this time I did not make love. Also my wish is to make love with your wife.
The couple look at each other and finally the husband says:
- Well, for a million dollars each month and all these houses, I think we can make an exception, what do you think?
- I agree.
The Genie takes the wife to the bedroom, they make love for two hours and in the end he asks the wife:
- By the way, how old is your husband?
- 40 years, why?
- Because it seems unbelievable that at age 40 we can still be stupid enough to believe in Genies

A guy finds a bottle on a beach. He opens the bottle and a genie comes out.

A guy finds a bottle on a beach. He opens the bottle and a genie comes out.
- You can ask me for three wishes, but you have to remember that your worst enemy will have double.
- My first wish would be to have $ 10 million.
"Very well," said the genius, "do not forget that your worst enemy will receive 20!
- Then, I want to own the 5 most beautiful women in the world.
- Very good, but your worst enemy will have 10.
- As a last wish, I want you to take a ball ...

Fable: The Horse, The Chicken, and The BMW

Fable: The Horse, The Chicken, and The BMW

A horse and a chick play in a meadow.
Suddenly, the horse falls into a mud hole and sinks. He calls the chick for help and asks him to go see the farmer so that he can help him get out of the water. The chick runs to the farm but the farmer can not be found.
So she decides to drive the farmer's BMW to the mud hole and attach a rope to the bumper. Then she throws the other end of the rope to her friend the horse and advances the car, which saves the equine from drowning! A few days later, the chick and the horse still play in the meadow, the chick falls into the mud hole and she screams to the horse to seek help from the farmer. The horse says to him:
- I think I can position myself above the hole!
It stretches over the entire width of the hole and says:
- Now, grab my penis and hang on.
The chick does it and fires safely.
Morale: If you're riding like a horse, you do not need a BMW to shoot chicks.

knight in the time of the Crusades

It is a knight in the time of the Crusades who leaves his castle to chase the infidel.
But before doing so, and to make sure of the purity of his dear and tender, he decides to buy a chastity belt, model that includes a guillotine at the level of the vagina, and has it installed on his sweetheart.
When he returned to the castle after 3 years of bitter fighting, he decided to go even his love and at the same time check if the belt was not forced. He is quickly reassured because it is intact.
However, he decides to gather all the men of the court to check if their three-piece service is complete.
He stubbornly discovers that there is only one among the whole assembly who has no injury. He is a young man, strong, handsome and well beaten. the lord therefore decides to call him for the happiness of his fidelity to his master.
- You, the young man over there comes here and tell me your name.
The young man approached but from his mouth came out only incomprehensible sounds.
- Mmmmoiiiiffffff mouuffffssss seebbbbiueeeeeuurrr?
"But at last, speak without fear, my friend, would you have cut off your tongue?"
- Mmmaiiiiiisssssss nouunffff

It's the Little Red Riding Hood that will bring a cake to his grandmother.

It's the Little Red Riding Hood that will bring a cake to his grandmother.
All of a sudden, he meets the wolf behind a tree and says:
- What do you have big eyes!
And there, the wolf gets scared and runs away. The little chaperon a little surprised continues his way. A little further, he sees the wolf behind a rock and says:
- What do you have big ears!
There, just like the wolf runs away. The little chaperon continues on his way, sure of himself and sees the wolf behind a bush. He tells him :
- What do you have big teeth!
And there the angry wolf answers him:
- Well you'll let me shit quietly now?

Fairy tail jokes, Crazy jokes about fairy tales, joke and humor fairy tale

She is a little old woman who lives alone in an old hut with her cat; one day, while gardening, she sees a frog caught in a mousetrap. She who usually hates animals (apart from her cat) takes her, cares for her and gives her something to drink and eat. That's when the frog turns into a fairy and offers him to fulfill three of his wishes. The little old woman thinks and says:
- I wish my cabin was a castle
- As a second wish, I would like to find the youth and freshness of my twentieth birthday
- And finally, I want my cat turns into Prince Charming ... Soon said, soon done. That's when the cat turns into Prince speaks up and tells him:
- It is now that you will regret having made me castrate!