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Funny Facebook Observations on Life Status Updates And
Twitter Tweets
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woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket.
That's the price you pay for letting relatives stay over.
is going to buy a teddy bear for $5, name it Joshua and sell
it for $10, to make of prophet!
was gonna donate blood until the lady got all personal and
started asking "who's blood is this?" and "How did you get
it?
just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of
tag in 1987
wonders how much milk do I add to baby powder to make a
baby?
wonders why are the people who tell you to calm down always
the ones who ticked you off in the first place?
can't stand it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think
it octopus
was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not
be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
thinks that If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red
leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet
and crayons