Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks!
Q: Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? A: They couldn't close his casket.
Q: Why did the snowman smile? A: Because the snowblower is coming.
Q: Why don't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is
Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Q: What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a pool? A: Vegetable soup.
Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs.
Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? A: UCLA