If you're a woman who goes to bars or clubs very often, then you've surely heard some bad pickup lines. In fact, you've probably heard all of these. We still think that even though these are really bad, most of them are pretty funny too. Enjoy.
- Hi! I decided to quit meeting women at our family reunions.
- My wife just died.
- My husband just died.
- What’s your sign?
- What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
- The more I drink, the better you look.
- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
- Where have you been all my life?
- Your place or mine?
- I swing both ways; I like boys – and men.
- There are two kinds of people in the world: my kind and millions of jerks.
- Are there any more at home like you?
- Baby, you’re lookin’ gooooood!
- I hate bars, don’t you?
- Is that a tic-tac in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
- Gee, you don’t sweat much for a fat chick.
- Will you light my fire? (No.) Will you light my farts?
- My favorite sport is channel surfing. Want to hop on my board?
- Approach a table of women, whip out your goods and say, “See anybody here you recognize?”
- I’ve had quite a bit to drink and you’re beginning to look pretty good.
- Hey baby, ya wanna get lucky?
- Does this smell like chloroform to you?
- I used to have acne like that. Want to know how I cured it?
- (At the beach) The surf isn’t the only thing that’s up.
- That’s last call. Wanna hook up?
- Wow, somebody smells fantastic! Did you just fart?
- Are you into handcuffs and leather?
- Do you have a job?
- I’ll bet I’ve been married more times than you have!
- Have you tried the South Beach diet?
- What stinks?
- What flavor is your underwear?
- My name is John Wayne Gacy. Do you have a brother I can meet?
- Aren’t you in therapy?
- Hey, honey. Pull my finger.
- Did you forget to get a bikini wax, or do you like having the Brazilian rain forest in your pants?
- I’m dyslexic. Fanna Wuck?
- So, how many plastic surgeries have you had?
- I have six toes on one foot.
- Are those real?
- Listen! Just a heads-up. Herpes is a deal breaker for me.
- Who was your divorce lawyer?
- I’ve seen Deep Throat ten times. It was kind of a complicated movie, but I was finally able to get it all down.
- What college do you go to? I go to UBW, the University of Big Weenies; I’m the president.
- Those are bodacious ta-tas!
- Is that a book you’re reading?