>PERKS OF
BEING OVER 50
> >
> >1.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
> >
> >2. In
a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
> >
> >3. No
one expects you to run--anywhere.
> >
> >4.
People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you?
> >
> >5.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
> >
> >6.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
> >
> >7.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
> >
> >8. You
can eat supper at 4 pm.
> >
> >9. You
can live without sex but not your glasses.
> >
> >10.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
> >
> >11.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
> >
> >12. You
quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
> >room.
> >
> >13.
You sing along with elevator music.
> >
> >14.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
> >
> >15.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
> >
> >16.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather
>
>service.
> >
> >17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
> >them
either.
> >
> >18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.